A Room Full of Monkeys

Why Kid Cudi is the Sarah Palin of Rap by Kali

I think we’re all familiar with Sarah Palin, 2008 vice presidential candidate. One of the more compelling new political figures to emerge on the scene. She is revered by some and hated by others, but either way people are passionate about her.

Within the hip hop community Kid Cudi is just as divisive, and the similarity’s don’t end there. Lemme run down some more of the striking similarities between Mrs. Palin and The Cudder.

1. They’re both originals.

What I have to give both Mrs. Palin and Kid Cudi for is that their new. It’s rare to see big national politicians that aren’t from the American mainland, especially not female ones. Nonetheless a moose-hunting hockey MILF. And suburban film students from the American heartland don’t typically break on the rap charts. Particularly those who emo rap over techno music. So yeah, they’re “breaths of fresh air”, a refreshing departure from the norm. And they both had the courage to be themselves when I’m sure many told them that people with their perspectives don’t make it. Fortunately for them they did make it. Unfortunately for us, being new doesn’t require and skill or talent of any kind.

2. They both suck at their jobs.

Sarah Palin is an idiot. That’s an exaggeration but even those who like wouldn’t argue that she’s the brightest bulb in the drawer. She’s a moving speaker, a charming, feisty and likeable figure, and cute as hell. I’m sure these qualitites served her well in her earlier career as a sportscaster. But now, she’s a politician. And she appears to know very little, or at least be very uncomfortable, discussing actual political policy. So as nice as it would seem to be to have someone like her in a national office,  she wouldn’t be capable of it. She just doesn’t have the tools to be good at it, and were all better off that she isn’t in office.

Kid Cudi can’t rap. Kid Cudi can’t sing. Sure, he writes pretty decent hooks, is an honest writer, has a predisposition to genre-bending beats and much has been made of his “ear for melody”. These would all be great qualities if he was a producer. But he’s a rapper. And as a rapper he isn’t clever or witty (I have to disagree, his rhyming ability isn’t impressive technically or creatively, he’s not descriptive or visual or poetic, he isn’t a good storyteller, his flow is an awkward staccato, and I personally find his mumbly and/or childishly sing songy delivery off putting.  I won’t say that’s bad, but he always to me sounds either childish, unintelligible, or whiny. There are other rappers who’s deliveries I don’t like but I still recognize as good like Papoose, and rappers who I don’t think are good but I can appreciate how well they deliver like Nelly. I can’t find anything in Cudi’s raps worth praising. Put simply he’s bad. You’ve gotta be good and some of that shit to be a good at being a rapper, which he’s supposed to be. Why would you put him in your tape deck when there are some talented rappers out there?

Now some of his bigger songs aren’t quite rap songs. Day N’ Nite is more singing than rapping. And some of them are quite well produced i.e. Sky Might Fall. In fact I might really like them if CUDI WASN’T WORSE AT SINGING THAN HE IS AT RAPPING. Check this out, this is R&B singer Novel doing a soul rendition of Sky Might Fall. Unfortunately it’s like a Frooty Loops of the original Kanye beat, but think what it would be like if someone who could actually sing performed some of Cudi’s shit. It’d be really dope. Unfortunately nothing could save the pit of musical despair that is Mr. Solo Dolo (I won’t link to it as a public service).

3. They’re both loved by their fans FOR sucking at their jobs.

What really bugs me about Cudi is that everybody I know that likes him, agrees that he can’t rap and can’t sing. And yet they’re fans. In fact the more I talked to them about it, it seemed like that was part of his appeal. It was because he isn’t that good a rapper and that he doesn’t have an interesting perspective that made him liked. It made him relatable. It reminded me of a Daily Show clip I saw where a woman told a correspondent that she loved Sarah Palin because, “she makes me feel like I could be President.” I couldn’t find that clip but I found this, which I think illustrates the same point. Both Sarah Palin and Kid Cudi are so loved by their fans because of their mediocrity. It makes them real. And they’re hated for that same mediocrity. It also makes them bad.

4. They both think their God’s gift to their field.

Just watch any interview of either of them.

5. They’re both quitters.

As a final note Sarah Palin quit her governorship of the state of Alaska shortly after losing the 2008 election amid claims that the media was being unfair to her. I think she really quit because she doesn’t really enjoy public service that much, and could make more money and have more fun elsewhere. Maybe doing something she’s good at. (she’s currently repeating other’s talking points and looking pretty regularly on Fox News.)

Kid Cudi, before his debut album even came out, said that his album Man on the Moon would be his last. He claimed that, “The drama that comes with it is more overwhelming than I was dealing with when I was piss-poor broke.” More importantly, I think he doesn’t really like rapping. If he did he’d probably be better. And he probably realized he could make more money and have more fun elsewhere. I mean the reason Jay-z and Michael Jordan can’t walk away from their crafts is because they love them. That’s what makes them the best. Cudi was ready to walk away before his first album.

‘But Kali’, you say, ‘That article is from a year ago, and he clearly hasn’t retired. He’s got a new album coming out.’ This is true. But Cudi said he was quitting AGAIN a month ago. This time he said after four or five albums, he’s calling it quits.

Eventually I want to leave behind music and just do acting.

Sounds like he found something that he could make more money from and have more fun doing.

I think the Palin/Cudi phenomenon is emblematic of the American practice of celebrating mediocracy. (Maybe it’s not recent, I’m a young guy. Maybe it’s not even American.) We would rather have our artists/representatives only talented enough to make us feel like we could be them. Not talented enough to inspire us, challenge us, or lead us. We just want them to hand us the world exactly as we already comfortably see it. That’s why Taylor Swift is on the radio, Jersey Shore is on television, and Paris Hilton is anywhere.

Sarah Palin is an idiot. That doesn’t make her real. It just makes her bad for the country.

Kid Cudi’s garbage. That doesn’t make him relatable. That just makes him bad for rap.

-Kali, the Redman of Political Analogies

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