A Room Full of Monkeys

Post Millennial Tension: Top Fives – Racial Stereotypes

Kali — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:42:34 +0000

My first Guest blog post. Here’s a taste:

In war there are always those moments where it becomes abundantly clear what you’re fighting for.

Peep it

Absolutely Beautiful

Kali — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 21:30:30 +0000

Pixar, get up on it. This what 3D animation should look like. Fuck that photoreal shit.

more about “Pivot on Vimeo“, posted with vodpod

Why Kid Cudi is the Sarah Palin of Rap

Kali — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:26:26 +0000

I think we’re all familiar with Sarah Palin, 2008 vice presidential candidate. One of the more compelling new political figures to emerge on the scene. She is revered by some and hated by others, but either way people are passionate about her.

Within the hip hop community Kid Cudi is just as divisive, and the similarity’s don’t end there. Lemme run down some more of the striking similarities between Mrs. Palin and The Cudder.

1. They’re both originals.

What I have to give both Mrs. Palin and Kid Cudi for is that their new. It’s rare to see big national politicians that aren’t from the American mainland, especially not female ones. Nonetheless a moose-hunting hockey MILF. And suburban film students from the American heartland don’t typically break on the rap charts. Particularly those who emo rap over techno music. So yeah, they’re “breaths of fresh air”, a refreshing departure from the norm. And they both had the courage to be themselves when I’m sure many told them that people with their perspectives don’t make it. Fortunately for them they did make it. Unfortunately for us, being new doesn’t require and skill or talent of any kind.

2. They both suck at their jobs.

Sarah Palin is an idiot. That’s an exaggeration but even those who like wouldn’t argue that she’s the brightest bulb in the drawer. She’s a moving speaker, a charming, feisty and likeable figure, and cute as hell. I’m sure these qualitites served her well in her earlier career as a sportscaster. But now, she’s a politician. And she appears to know very little, or at least be very uncomfortable, discussing actual political policy. So as nice as it would seem to be to have someone like her in a national office, she wouldn’t be capable of it. She just doesn’t have the tools to be good at it, and were all better off that she isn’t in office.

Kid Cudi can’t rap. Kid Cudi can’t sing. Sure, he writes pretty decent hooks, is an honest writer, has a predisposition to genre-bending beats and much has been made of his “ear for melody”. These would all be great qualities if he was a producer. But he’s a rapper. And as a rapper he isn’t clever or witty (I have to disagree, his rhyming ability isn’t impressive technically or creatively, he’s not descriptive or visual or poetic, he isn’t a good storyteller, his flow is an awkward staccato, and I personally find his mumbly and/or childishly sing songy delivery off putting. I won’t say that’s bad, but he always to me sounds either childish, unintelligible, or whiny. There are other rappers who’s deliveries I don’t like but I still recognize as good like Papoose, and rappers who I don’t think are good but I can appreciate how well they deliver like Nelly. I can’t find anything in Cudi’s raps worth praising. Put simply he’s bad. You’ve gotta be good and some of that shit to be a good at being a rapper, which he’s supposed to be. Why would you put him in your tape deck when there are some talented rappers out there?

Now some of his bigger songs aren’t quite rap songs. Day N’ Nite is more singing than rapping. And some of them are quite well produced i.e. Sky Might Fall. In fact I might really like them if CUDI WASN’T WORSE AT SINGING THAN HE IS AT RAPPING. Check this out, this is R&B singer Novel doing a soul rendition of Sky Might Fall. Unfortunately it’s like a Frooty Loops of the original Kanye beat, but think what it would be like if someone who could actually sing performed some of Cudi’s shit. It’d be really dope. Unfortunately nothing could save the pit of musical despair that is Mr. Solo Dolo (I won’t link to it as a public service).

3. They’re both loved by their fans FOR sucking at their jobs.

What really bugs me about Cudi is that everybody I know that likes him, agrees that he can’t rap and can’t sing. And yet they’re fans. In fact the more I talked to them about it, it seemed like that was part of his appeal. It was because he isn’t that good a rapper and that he doesn’t have an interesting perspective that made him liked. It made him relatable. It reminded me of a Daily Show clip I saw where a woman told a correspondent that she loved Sarah Palin because, “she makes me feel like I could be President.” I couldn’t find that clip but I found this, which I think illustrates the same point. Both Sarah Palin and Kid Cudi are so loved by their fans because of their mediocrity. It makes them real. And they’re hated for that same mediocrity. It also makes them bad.

4. They both think their God’s gift to their field.

Just watch any interview of either of them.

5. They’re both quitters.

As a final note Sarah Palin quit her governorship of the state of Alaska shortly after losing the 2008 election amid claims that the media was being unfair to her. I think she really quit because she doesn’t really enjoy public service that much, and could make more money and have more fun elsewhere. Maybe doing something she’s good at. (she’s currently repeating other’s talking points and looking pretty regularly on Fox News.)

Kid Cudi, before his debut album even came out, said that his album Man on the Moon would be his last. He claimed that, “The drama that comes with it is more overwhelming than I was dealing with when I was piss-poor broke.” More importantly, I think he doesn’t really like rapping. If he did he’d probably be better. And he probably realized he could make more money and have more fun elsewhere. I mean the reason Jay-z and Michael Jordan can’t walk away from their crafts is because they love them. That’s what makes them the best. Cudi was ready to walk away before his first album.

‘But Kali’, you say, ‘That article is from a year ago, and he clearly hasn’t retired. He’s got a new album coming out.’ This is true. But Cudi said he was quitting AGAIN a month ago. This time he said after four or five albums, he’s calling it quits.

Eventually I want to leave behind music and just do acting.

Sounds like he found something that he could make more money from and have more fun doing.

I think the Palin/Cudi phenomenon is emblematic of the American practice of celebrating mediocracy. (Maybe it’s not recent, I’m a young guy. Maybe it’s not even American.) We would rather have our artists/representatives only talented enough to make us feel like we could be them. Not talented enough to inspire us, challenge us, or lead us. We just want them to hand us the world exactly as we already comfortably see it. That’s why Taylor Swift is on the radio, Jersey Shore is on television, and Paris Hilton is anywhere.

Sarah Palin is an idiot. That doesn’t make her real. It just makes her bad for the country.

Kid Cudi’s garbage. That doesn’t make him relatable. That just makes him bad for rap.

-Kali, the Redman of Political Analogies

A Formal Apology to Conan O’Brien

Kali — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:19:09 +0000

Dear Conan,

Last night was Jay Leno’s return to the Tonight Show. I didn’t watch it. Not out of solidarity to you, or a vindictive grudge. I just didn’t care much. I saw a bit of his monologue on Hulu this morning, and he didn’t mention you. He was charming and comfortable and it was like he had never been off the air. The transition was so smooth that in a few years it’ll probably seem like you never hosted the Tonight Show. And I wanna apologize for that, because it’s partially my fault.

I am one of the millions of your fans who never watched your show. I watched all of your first week and all of your last week, saw youtube clips of your fight with Cory Booker and that was about it. I watched you way more regularly when you were on Late Night. And as a result, as part of a core audience that NBC was banking on following you to 11:30, I failed you and got you canned.

There are many reasons why I didn’t watch. None of them had anything to do with the quality of your show. You were hands down the funniest talk show host on television when you had Late Night and you made good on your word to bring your distinctive type of humor to 11:30. We all got tons of memorable moments out of the 7 month Tonight show run (Harland William gave probably his best appearance with you during the Tonight Show run).

So why didn’t I watch? Well, I hate to say it but Comedy Central had a lot to do with it. I am a religious viewer of the Daily Show and Colbert Report. In fact I was probably one of the few that wanted you to move to midnight so that you would follow the Colbert Report. Only a few years ago watching all three shows was my daily routine, which came to a brilliant culmination when you all crossed over into each other’s shows a few years back. But when you were put in a competing time slot with my Comedy Central shows I had to make a choice. Conan, your show is funnier than the Daily Show and Colbert Report, but it’s not as relevant. And I noticed Comedy Central bumped the Daily Show’s late night encore showing back a half an hour I’m assuming to accomodate your show, but I had to go with my fake news. And for that I am sorry.

I know I let you down, but I am not the only one. I know many, many avid Conan fans. And almost none of them watched your show regularly. We’re young, we’re still out at 11:30. But I do know that all of us have learned to appreciate your talent that much more, in your absence. So I urge you: Get a show on Fox. Preferrably at midnight. And I promise you, we will watch.

Late night needs laughs.

-Kali, cuckoo for Coco’s pomp(adour)

The Cudi Debate

Owen — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 05:32:05 +0000

Because of a recent post I made on my other blog, I wanted to get the conversation started again in what I’ve started to affectionately call, The Monkey Room.

The post was about the new show How To Make It In America. It features Kid Cudi as part of the cast and although he has a pretty minor role, my esteem for him as an artist was why I tuned in in the first place. Writing about Cudi reminded me of a conversation Me, Kali, L and another friend of ours had about him on a car ride home one night.

Basically, Me and L are big fans of Cudi and Kali thinks that he’s terrible, (which he is). But as the conversation went on it turned from just a squabble over taste to a discussion of fundamental preferences when choosing who and what we listen to.

Before I go on, here’s a perfect example of why you can either love or hate him.

Generally, on a first listen intricate rhyme schemes are just complicated to me. Most metaphors are lost on me. And a story-telling songs often don’t hold my interest for me to get to the conclusion. My feeling is that I want to listen to music that makes me feel good. I’m not interested in any technical intricacies that make a rapper “better”. (But it’s these “intricacies” in music, or all art for that matter, that make something good. Without them it’d be noise)

Kali on the other hand, is a rap snob that apparently wants all his rap to be bar after bar of aurally shocking lyrical complexities. (that would be nice, yeah) He has no musical sense of humor. (so you agree that Cudi is a joke)

While I don’t think I have bad taste in music (not bad just lazy), I will admit that my personal preferences does not require any sort of expertise. It’s safe to say that Kali knows more about rap than I ever will. And I honestly can’t defend Cudi’s skill as a rapper against even mediocre superstars (Kali could fill in some blanks here: Asher’s pretty mediocre). However, I still listen to A Man on the Moon as well as A Kid Named Cudi regularly because they continue to relate to whatever feeling I want to experience from them. (What?)

I think L and I both agree that their is an overwhelming sense of art in Scott Mescudi’s sound and art is never seen by everybody the same way; so I can’t really hate on Kali for not liking him, nor will I try to change his mind. (Okay that’s bullshit. That’s the argument that my fellow film students would make when they got an F on a film project. “Well it’s art, so the teacher just didn’t get it.” Or, maybe your project just sucked. It’s a commonly held misconception that art can’t suck. Good art is a mix of heart and skill. It can’t exist without both. The skill is what conveys the heart and emotion from the artist to the audience. So you might not be able to change my mind about Cudi, but saying it’s art doesn’t mean articulating what’s good about is impossible or meaningless. If anything it makes it more important because it’s less obvious.) I’m even surprised I like him as much as I do, considering that their is a definite trend of “whining and bitchassness” (as our friend Rashid put it) in most of the tracks on his album.

Cudi makes music that I, and many, many others, thoroughly enjoy, and isn’t that the point.

Well here’s my take in the Cudder… Kali

The Monkey Awards – Kali’s picks

Kali — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 09:31:19 +0000

So with the passing of the Grammys, the Oscars are left as the only major award show left for 2009. Which means it’s high time for our own Year-End Awards. I know you’re thinkin’ it’s late, but really we’ve had more time for 2009 to sink in. Without further ado, here are our picks for the best and worst of 2009.

Entertainer of the Year: Stephen Colbert

This was a tough category, but really there aren’t many professions in the entertainment industry where you even have the opportunity to deliver all year long. In that respect a late night talk show gives you a bit of an advantage, but even then Colbert beat out tons of competition. Put simply this was a year fro politics. It was the first year of the first term of the first black president and the country was in a pretty shitty state. Thankfully we had Colbert’s unique brand of satirical punditry to guide us through. Without it, all of the ridiculous political posturing would have been infuriating instead of hilariously frustrating. Highlight of the year: Colbert’s gets his head shaved.

Film of the Year: District 9

My favorite kind of film. Intelligent, entertaining, unconventional, probing and badass. This is the kind of film I hope to make on day. You come for the action/coolness, stay for the social implications, and leave with questions. And it’s real as hell.

TV Show of the Year: The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien

There were better shows this year. There were certainly shows I watched more often. But in the wake of everything that’s happened at NBC over the past few weeks, it seems only right to hand this honor over to this now defunct incarnation of the Tonight Show. It was very good, and it could have been great with a little more time. That said the seven months we got were still entertaining as hell.

Album of the Year: “Only Built For Cuban Linx Part 2″ by Raekwon

If anyone was still wondering if Wu Tang was forever, here’s your answer. Raekwon delivers the best Wu album in basically a decade, and an instant classic. What’s so extraordinary about the second Purple Tape is that it’s this good without a signature cut. New Wu is the head nodder but really the whole album unravels like one intricate tapestry, songs interwoven together. It’s truly a singular piece of art.

Song of the Year: “Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys

Jay-Z finally gets the one accolade he was missing, a number one single. And somehow he’s done it while still avoiding the lowest common denominator. He refuses to sell out, he just keeps buying in. Anyway, the song fucking knocks, and Alicia Keys deserves maybe more credit for her soaring hook than Jay does for his high-end verses.

Music Video of the Year: Welcome to Heartbreak by Kanye West

There’s nothing wrong with your computer. They did that on purpose. Impressive, I know.

Mixtape of the year: “Back to the Feature” by Wale

It’s stupid how much better this tape is than his actual album.

Verse of the year: Eminem in “Forever”

He raps in triplets. TRIPLETS!!!

Viral Video of the Year: Flu Shot Girl

Don’t laugh, it’s not funny.

Dime of the Year: Tie – Zoe Saldana and Rosa Acosta

It was quite the year for Zoe Saldana. The beautiful and talented actress played the lead in Avatar, which in all likelihood will go down as the highest grossing movie of all time, until Avatar 2 comes out. Of course she’s never seen in the film, but only represented but an incredibly lifelike digital blue vixen. So she also helped revolutionize filmmaking in that sense. On top of that she also deftly assumed the mantle of Uhura in the Star Trek reboot which was a hit during the summer of 2009. SO basically she starred in the two best blockbusters of the year, and killed both roles. All of these accomplishments have her deadlocked in a tie with newcomer Rosa Acosta because Rosa Acosta looks like this.

Comeback of the Year: James Cameron

With his first narrative feature film since Titanic James Cameron is on the verge of breaking the record for all-time gross that he set WITH Titanic. What the fuck? Who does that? Seriously?

Disappointment of the Year: Transformers 2

Thank you Michael Bay, for inventing a way to make giant fighting robots NOT cool. You are truly an innovator. (And he got it SOOO right the first time.)

And now for some awards I just made up… but that are still quite important.

The Who Knew Award: Mo’nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Now Matt Damon and Mo’nique are the only two who’ve gotten me close to crying in a movie. One of them was in Soul Plane.

The Future Classic Award: “The Ecstatic” by Mos Def

This album in 10 years will go down as one of the greatest hip hop albums ever. Just give the world some time to catch up.

The Great Idea Award: Blakroc

The Black Keys record a hip hop album with some of the illest MCs ever: great idea. The actual album: mildly enjoyable.

The Timely Quote Award: “On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how pissed is he?” -Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation

It’s from the episode Hunting Trip. Btw, Parks and Recreation is now the funniest show on network television.

The That Just Happened Award: Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi Performance at the Mtv VMA’s (Musical Performance of the Year)

Don’t play like you saw that coming.

The Beautiful Argument Award: Larry and Kahmunrah from “Night at the Museum: Battle for the Smithsonian”

I’ve watched this scene easily over thirty times. It’s still funny.

And what am I the most geeked for in 2010:

“Inception”

The next project from Christopher Nolan, who has yet to make a movie that hasn’t kicked my ass. It’s a sci-fi piece about some kind of war of ideas, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page. It’ll be dope.

“Plastic Beach” by the Gorillaz

I’m in serious need of a Gorillaz fix, and with collaborations from Mos Def, Snoop Dogg, the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble and De La Soul this should be just what I need.

And of course Detox…

Kali- Future Image Award Winner (everybody gets one)

If you thought Eminem was bad…

Kali — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 06:55:57 +0000

Here’s a new track from my homeboy vP A.K.A. verbal PHANTOM, and it’s not a nice song. As a white rapper I know vP, or Vinny as I call him, has to fend off a constant slew of Eminem comparisons, but on this occasion it’s warranted.

This shit has the Em-like ability to get your head noddin’ and shaking at the same time. You enjoy it, but you feel a little guilty about it after. Plus it’s over the beat for Shady’s “Taking My Ball” and features my homeboy JFK and some other guy who’s definitely not me on the hook and first verse. Here’s “sPeshal oLimpicz” (Yes, he actually spelled it like that).

Download sPeshal oLimpicz

OK, so that guy on the hook and first verse was me, and I’m pretty ashamed of myself.

In all serious, I really do feel pretty bad. I’ve volunteered at a camp for the developmentally disabled, and two of my very good friends work with them professionally (one I don’t plan on ever mentioning this to). I really should know better. But if I’m challenged to write 16 about something, I will not back down. But I actually am kinda sorry about it. It was my first time recording, so I’m gonna have to do something else because this can not be my only contribution to hip hop.

That said, it is three dudes gettin’ it in on the mic (at least two, I think my delivery needs work) and anything I can do to get Vinny some exposure I’ll do ’cause the dude’s talented as shit.

Matter of fact, the whole RFOM owes him a shout out since he shouted us all out in another track. It actually depicts a night out we all shared for Owen’s 23 birthday at R Bar in New York. A lot of the references won’t make sense if you weren’t there but the best joke in the song revolves around this picture.

That’s our friend Chris Spurrier on the left, and our friend Andrew Kitchen on the right. And they’re both straight… we think.

Download “I’m 23… Like Jordan”

… and stay tuned for vP’s mixtape “The Owl Grenade Project” in a few weeks.

-Kali, can’t stop won’t stop

God of the Real World

Kali — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:00:24 +0000

I hate MTV.

It serves no purpose except to offer the lowest common denominator of trash entertainment, and along with late night VH1 is slowly eroding the cultural fabric of American society. Plus they don’t even show videos anymore.

But every once and awhile MTV actually tries. They do it with the sporadically airing TrueLife, and they did it with the second most recent incarnation of Real World, the Brooklyn season. Now it appears they are trying again with the latest Real World season: the politically tinged DC cast.

Apparently this most recent bunch of freakishly attractive petri dishes, and one virgin… READ. That’s right. They’re smart and have opinions about politics, and they aren’t afraid to scream these opinions directly into their roommates faces at close range for no good reason. Supposedly that’s what “keeping it real” means. Which brings me to episode 1.

I love this scene for so many reasons. It’s a corncucopia of ideological contradictions. It’s really a thing of beauty. But there’s one specific reason I want to discuss this scene.

First some context: Ty, the dickish black guy, was forced into a religious upbringing by his adoptive parents. He’s very bitter about his upbringing and now rejects organized religion completely. Ashley, the hot brunette and voice of reason at the end, has already explained to Ty how her faith got her through a period of abuse at the hands of her stepfather. And Mike, the cherub looking christian, has just revealed to his roommates that he’s bisexual and is talking about how his church respects that. (In the cut of the conversation that actually aired in the episode Emily, who’s sitting to Ty’s right but is unseen in this clip, grew up in a cult and she also chimes into the conversation.)

Now what I love about this scene the most: Ty is the exact reason why I stopped calling myself an Atheist. (He says he’s agnostic, but he’s wrong. He’s an Atheist.) Because almost every other Atheist I’ve ever met is a HUGE condescending dick.

I was raised without a religion. My father is an atheist (but not a dick, usually) and my mom is an agnostic. When I was in, I think second grade, I asked my parents who this God character was that all my friends at school kept mentioning. They told me it’s whatever you want it to be, and you can believe in it or not. So from then on, I was the 8 year old proudly pronouncing that I didn’t believe in God. I got told I was going to Hell a lot when I was a kid. But I didn’t believe in Hell so it wasn’t that bad (still mean though). But by the time I got to high school I realized that there were a lot of other kids with a similar lack of religious belief, but they weren’t cool about it (I can tell right now this is about to get real long).

The flip side of my upbringing is that my extended family, particularly my mom’s side, have been southern baptists or African Methodist Episcopalians for generations. Like every other person on my mom’s side is a minister, and our family reunions are often uncomfortably Jesus-centric. But because I was always on the outside looking into religion I always found it fascinating and exotic, and the contact I did have for it through my aunts, uncle and grandparents was pretty positive, although sometimes boring. A lot of the other kids that I began to talk to in high school who also identified as Atheists, seemed angry and quite bitter, and my guess is probably that they rejected religion that others tried to impress upon them instead of being raised outside of it like me. And that’s sad. However, it doesn’t mean they weren’t condescending assholes were just as dogmatic about their non-belief as the faithful are about their beliefs.

I’ve met a lot of Ty’s, and I’ve never liked them. They seem to think faith is a frailty, and view believers as lesser, people who are too stupid to see what’s right in front of their face: that there is no God. I kid I knew once used the word “tribal” to describe people who believed, and that literally made my stomach turn because that is as culturally insensitive as it is religiously. Really, most of these atheists are really religious fundamentalists. They fundamentally believe that no God has ever, will ever, and can ever exist, and to suggest anything else is sacrilege. Ironic, I know. But is there really any other way to describe the way Ty reacts. He seems like a fundamentalist. He’s yelling and screaming, verbally attacking this guy that only wanted to share a little bit of himself (a very personal little bit) with his roommates.

And what really sucks is that Atheistic fundamentalists, as far as I’m concerned are the worst kind of fundamentalists. Now I’m not talking about extremists who run around killing people in the name of their lord. I mean fundamentalists, who follow whatever they believe absolutely and dogmatically. Why? Because atheists don’t believe in anything, they don’t even have beliefs to defend. They have the luxury of attacking your faith without every having to talk about the value of theirs, because there is none. There is no value to their faith, there’s isn’t even an air of religious tolerance because all religion is intolerable. That’s what pisses me off the most is that atheists aren’t even doing anything with their beliefs, except trying to strip you of yours. Even when a Christian prays for you, whether or not you want to be prayed for, they’re doing something that they honestly believe will help you. All atheists aim to do is tell you why what you believe in, that makes you happy, that gives you peace of mind, is wrong. I can’ think of many things more despicable than that. And I was one of ‘em.

The exact moment I decided to stop identifying myself as an Atheist came on a subway ride on easter in Philadelphia. I was helping my friend with a video project, and me and his other friend were catching the subway to South St. to shoot. There was an old guy on the train, looked almost homeless, passing out little pamphlets that urged people to find Christ. He was roaming the center aisle of the train, trying to hand out the pamphlets and speaking to the crowd about how everyone needed to repent and find God in order to save their soul. I won’t front, it was a little annoying, and most people ignored the guy and continued doing whatever they were doing. The friend of my friend, after maybe 30 seconds of this, starts yelling at the guy. He’s shouting “God is Dead!” and “Shut up, I shouldn’t have to listen to this!”. Now they other guy was just talking and this kid is really shouting, he’s citing church and state, and explaining how science explains everything, and so on. The guy handing out the pamphlets is just trying to ignore him but he can’t, this kid is really getting in his face. And I just put my head down and pretended I wasn’t with the kid.

This guy handing out pamphlets really had nothing but good will in his heart. He wasn’t asking for money, he wasn’t stopping anyone from doing anything, he just wanted to help people. And this kid had nothing but his own selfish need to showcase his supposed intellectual superiority to a bunch of people who could care less. He made of a disturbance than the guy ever did, and he hurt him by verbally attacking him and his beliefs. Even if there is no God and he was right, there’s no way that’s OK. And that’s what Ty did, he verbally attacked Mike for no greater reason than to try and prove his own intellectual superiority.

And another thing (I know this is really long), Ty hides behind this (I’m gonna sound like Glenn Beck but it is what it is) liberal shelter of open-mindedness, claiming that because he can form the words “God exists” that he has considered the possibility of a deity. That’s bullshit. Ty is clearly more narrow-minded than Mike, but really the only ones who appear to actually be able to really think and consider what’s goin’ on are the girls when they suggest that they end the conversation because it can not be won.

And personally, that’s where I am now. I stopped calling myself an Atheist years ago but it’s been even more recently that I’ve actually opened myself up to the idea that a deity could exist. Because really I don’t know. No God has ever blatantly revealed itself to me, but at the same time the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. One kid once said to me when I told him I was an Atheist, “The only thing I don’t get about Atheists is the certainty. I mean, I get the doubt, but how do you know?” And I didn’t know. From then on it seemed silly to assert there was no God simply because no one had seen him. And frankly, it’s a lot more silly than having a religious vision and then claiming to believe in God, because then you have evidence, albeit subjective evidence. I’ve since worked out a personal God of sorts that I subscribe to and that works just fine for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I have huge problems with organized religion as well, but I can honestly say I think religion has given the world more good than bad, and that’s why it’s survived as long as it has. Modern civilization really started with religion. Atheism really hasn’t given anyone shit. To be honest, even when I did consider myself an Atheist I looked up to religious people. I didn’t see faith as a frailty or a crutch. It was a like ability, to be capable of believing in something incredible with every bit of you, sight unseen. To have the courage to do that. It’s almost like a super power, and something I’ve never been able to do. It’s not easy. Which I think is why it really pisses me off when people try and shit on people who believe, just because they can’t.

So in closing, fuck you Ty, newest incarnation of the Real World’s angry black guy. May you burn in hell, or some secular equivalent.

Kali, Yahweh Yah mean?

What’s up with Jackie Chan beating up kids?

Kali — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:23:14 +0000

-Kali, the five fingers of death and sometimes time-out

Diet Disenchantment

Owen — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:42:59 +0000

With the amount of sports that I watch, I’ve seen this commercial an exorbitant amount of times. At first I thought it was a joke but I’m still waiting for the punchline. Until then, I would be remiss to not rant about the disgust that I feel when I see this aired. Not just with Taco Bell, Christine Dougherty and whoever else decides to participate in this idiocy. It makes me feel dirty that I live in a country where something like this is promoted.

Lets run down the entire 30 seconds and note some of the things wrong with this spot:

1- Drive-thru Diet. Assuming Drive-thru is just 1 word, those are 2 words that should never be grouped together.

2- Let’s focus on what this chick is actually saying.

“I replaced my usual fast food with Taco Bell…”

“When I decided to trim down, I knew I had to be realistic…I didn’t want to give up fast food…”

These are the worst diet plans ever. All I hear is, “I don’t want to be a shiteater but I just love the taste.”

3- Note the massive amount of “fine print”. First it explains how her diet consists of a ridiculously low amount of calories. About 20% lower than the recommended intake for women trying to lose weight. It then immediately explains that these meals are low in FAT. NOT IN CALORIES. So it does close to nothing.

Kali jokingly wrote in an earlier post that I was afraid of fat people. Not afraid, you just don’t like them. Wait, did I say afraid? I asked him to take it down because I was afraid it would offend people. Yep, I said afraid. It was funnier that way though. When we started this we agreed wouldn’t censor each other but it was based on an opinion that I’ve never fully explained to him or anyone else before this appropriate time.

What it comes down to is my distaste for the unnecessarily obese. I fully understand that some people have medical issues that makes it difficult or impossible to control their weight. I’m not talking about them.

I also understand that there are people that the majority of people are not models or pro athletes and do not have bodies shaped as such. I understand that a healthy shape for most people has some extra padding. I’m not talking about them.

I’m not even talking about people that are normally or formerly in shape but their life has become more sedentary and they recognize that if they plan to maintain themselves the need to get active or change their diet. But it’s too cold outside right now to run around and it just tastes soooooooo good. I’m not talking about them. That’s me, cake is the shit.

I’m talking about people that eat themselves from out of shape, to overweight to obese and eventually unhealthy. Or just eat themselves to an extra 50 pounds, complain about gaining weight and then never do anything even when given the opportunity. To me it shows a lack of self respect. And if you don’t respect yourself, I feel no reason extend to you that privilege from myself. See and I think that’s cold. Yeah, some people do grossly overeat, and that does show a lack of control or maybe even self respect. But my thing is that, that is one of a myriad of aspects about that person. Just because their fat, or obese doesn’t mean their not smart, funny, cool, or whatever. To say you’re not gonna respect somebody simply because of their weight is wrong. It’s one tiny facet of that person, just like skin color, sexual orientation, gender, fuckin… height. And yeah, those things are different because those are things that people are born with, and some people are born with a body type but you’ve made it clear that’s not who you’re talkin about. But the sentiment is the same. Your choosing how to treat someone based on one small thing about them, that more than likely is gonna be insignificant in your relationship with them. No one’s sayin’ you gotta date ‘em or even find them attractive, but you should still respect them.

This commercial and ones like it seem to only enable these people. To brand the idea of eating fast food (that is so garbage that it marketed itself to drunk people as “4th meal”) as a means of weight loss. It only piles on to the international renowned fact that America is the fattiest and laziest country in the world. When diet spokespeople are too lazy to even get out their car and walk in to their choice of eatery, then we really have hit rock bottom.Yeah that is pretty bad.

I personally have eaten my face off during this holiday season and have much work to do to get back my body back in to the shape that years of soccer has accustomed me to. But I also know that I won’t be able to pick up that body in any drive thru aisle.

Owen, Running past Taco Bell.

Kali, the See-food dieter